Is Your Internet Dating Profile Good Enough?

Your Internet dating profile is such an important part of the online dating process! Don't take for granted the 'art' of writing an online dating profile.

It's not as simple as slopping together a few words with improper grammar and spelling errors, throwing an old pic up of a barely decipherable human face, and some boring headline.

Women are not just looking at WHAT you are saying, but also HOW you are choosing to say what you want to say. i.e. Are you writing your profile to 'one' woman or are you writing to the 'ladies'?

They are not just looking at WHAT you look like, rather HOW you choose to present yourself through pictures. i.e. Are you goofing off in your photos, or do you look more mature?

Remember, you DO have competition. Don't assume that she will fall for you, if she just gives you a chance to have a conversation, or a meet up in person.

If you don't impress with your profile for dating online right from the get go, you won't have much luck getting out of the gate.

-xo Kat

3 Steps to Asking Her Out Online

If you've been chatting it up with a woman online, it may be time to ask her out for that anticipatory dating online first date. After all, you're probably not just looking for online pen pals.

However, knowing the RIGHT time for when to ask out a woman from online dating is crucial. Do it too SOON or in the wrong WAY, and you won't get your chance to meet her.

There are NO shortcuts when it comes to asking a woman out from online dating. You must execute every step or you'll be stuck at a dead end.

If it sounds like you only get one chance to ask her out, often times that's all she'll give you!

To meet a woman in person that you met online, follow these 3 steps to get her to agree to a dating online first date:

1. Get Her Attention

This seems obvious, and that's because it is.

You have to start-up a conversation with a woman first. Even if she was the one that messaged you first, she will probably wait for you to ask her out.

Sure there are many women that ask a guy out first. But the women that are truly desirable, they don't need to ask men out. Nor do they want to.

To get these types of women that other men want, you have to get her attention.

This is why you have to have an awesome profile and kill it with your first message, and subsequent ones!

2. Build Trust and Rapport

Women know that there are many creeps online. It only takes one negative experience with a weirdo to get their guard up. In this sense, you have to reassure her that you're just a normal, nice guy.

Coming out and saying you're NOT crazy sort of raises red-flags. It's because she will wonder why you thought to say that. It's best to avoid stating things in a negative way, and to highlight your strengths instead.

Treat her like you would one of your girl friends. Act like a gentleman and she will know she can trust you. Develop rapport over some good conversation.

Knowing how to attract and chat with women online, will not only have you talking to tons of women, but they will also agree to meet with you!

3. Move Things Offline Smoothly

There's nothing worst than the smell of desperation. And women can smell this from a mile away. No one likes someone that is over-eager.

Take things at a smooth place. Let her believe you're a desirable guy and not just waiting for the FIRST person that comes along and takes an interest in you.

This is why not rushing into asking her out is so important. But you don't want to wait too long either, otherwise she will think you're not interested enough.

She also wants to feel special, and not like she's just some girl on a list. You won't know what is unique about her, unless you chat with her.

You have to give her the impression that there is something about HER, that is making you want to get to know her more. And not that she is a living and breathing pulse.

You have to get a feel for the right time to ask her to go from online to offline. With experience, this will come to you more naturally.

If you follow these 3 steps for when to ask women online out on a date, you will be in a MUCH better position to get them to say YES to meeting you.

After all, isn't the whole excitement about online dating, the chance to meet NEW and COOL women that you normally wouldn't get to meet in your day-to-day?

Get out there!

-xo Kat

How NOT to Deal with Online Dating Rejection

I don't know about you guys, but if you're anything like me...rejection just plain sucks!

Getting rejected by women when online dating kind of gets to your ego, 'cause it's not like they even REALLY know who you are.

They don't know how you are around your family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc.

And you KNOW this, but you can't help but let the sting get to your ego.

Sound familiar?

Then dealing with rejection from women when online dating has you hold back, when you shouldn't even let it get to you!

I was recently messaging back and forth with some guy online.

Things were going well with conversation, so I decided to add him to my Facebook.

I don't like to add people from online dating onto Facebook, and that is just my own personal choice.

So with this one guy, I guess I was feeling risque, lol, by adding him.

As I checked out his profile on there, I noticed that I wasn't as interested as I thought I would be.

I recognized a girl that I saw on the online dating site we both use (yes, I sometimes check out women's profiles, out of curiousity!), and was thinking, Woah! If he added her, then we're definitely not a match. Her personality and mine are miles apart.

Not to mention, I wasn't into his style of conversation with others. As I checked out his 'wall', I wasn't too impressed with how he talks 'cool'. Not my thing.

Sooo, because I realized I wouldn't be interested in him, I decided to take him off as a Facebook 'friend'.

I didn't get a chance to message him about it, before he sent me a message saying he noticed. I then go to send a message to explain and found out he had blocked me.

Well, to make a bit longer of a story shorter - let's just say, this guy took the meaning 'crazy' to a whole new level. ;)

He just could NOT handle the rejection.

Basically, he came up with a really LOW type of insult. He kept messaging me insults, and even when I blocked him, he created a new account online JUST so he could bash me!

And the weird part about it is that he was trying to add me back on as a 'friend'. How does somebody put you down, and still want to know you? Weird.

Anyways, he finally went away.

Phew. lol

-xo Kat

Get Women Online with This Secret Tip

Do you feel frustrated when you send off messages to women and they don't get back to you? Do you feel even worse when they delete your first message?

You will want to avoid the types of online dating messages that will not work for the ladies, and will make you more frustrated to boot.

It can be tough on the ego when all you feel is rejection after rejection of your messages. You assume that she isn't attracted to you, or you're just not her type in some way.

But does it occur to you that it is the WAY you approached her to begin with that ultimately turned her off?

Yes, you could be attractive, charming, have a great write-up, many interests...and still wonder why you aren't drawing the women in.

Either you think that it is HER problem that she's not replying back to your message, or you clued in that perhaps it is your message to her that isn't coming across so well.

Maybe you know that your approach isn't quite working, but you're not quite sure what to do about it. Especially, when you sometimes get responses.

But how does it feel to come across a woman that you are REALLY interested in and you lose out again? Perhaps it's time to figure out what it is that isn't working so effectively to get women to reply back.

You just know that they would take a liking to you, if the women would just give you a CHANCE. Ah-hah, my friend, you have to EARN this. ;)

Simply the act of sending her a message is NOT good enough. It may be for YOU when a woman sends you a first message. You may not care so much what is in the message, but the fact that she wrote you FIRST is what matters. 

Women work differently (surprise, surprise ;). A woman won't give you WHAT you want, until you give her what it is she NEEDS. She wants to feel that you NOTICED her DIFFERENTLY than you did any other woman online.

SO how do you do this? You pay attention to her whole profile and then you write something you haven't written to the other ladies. This means not being dull and generic. What this means is being creative and witty. Personalizing your approach will do a lot to improve your online dating success. Try it.

-xo Kat

Writing Women Online - Online Dating Advice for Men

Hey guys,

Think about that first online dating message you send to a woman online, not after you've already sent it - but BEFORE you've hit that send button! ;)

I think you know that I do the online dating matchmaking site thing myself. If you didn't know this, now you do. ;) How else would I be able to help you out so well like I do...heh, heh. :) I find it fun and intriguing to connect with men online on a matchmaking site.

 

I always find it both exciting and interesting when I receive new messages in my inbox. It's exciting because someone took notice of me, but it's also interesting 'cause I'm wondering what it was about me (my pictures or profile or both) that encouraged the guy enough to write.

A peculiar email I received the other day was something that caught me off guard, and reminded me why I am here to help you on this blog.

You see, what first started off as a seemingly normal message turned into a dreadful interaction. Sometimes you can make a decent first impression, but can you sustain it?

So, this guy compliments me on my hair and I thought that was nice, so I sent him a quick message back just to thank him. The reason it was a quick message was because I wasn't interested in him (based on his profile and the one pic). If I had been interested, I would have asked him a question.

He then sends me a second message saying that....hmm, let's just say something he said was sexually-related to hair and being with another woman. Immediately, I was turned off. I wasn't even interested in the first place, but I am appreciative of polite compliments I get - hence, why I thanked him. Now, this message was ridiculous and uncalled for. What if I were interested before?..I surely wouldn't be now.

I was wondering if he knew just what kind of effect he was making with such a rude comment. Did he think I would see that he is desirable to women? What was it about saying that some woman he was with had better hair than me, after he had already complimented me on my hair?!

I never asked him his opinion on my hair to begin with! How do I get a compliment and then get put down? I can see that a guy maybe would do this, if I simply deleted his nice message or blatantly rejected him. But this guy had no reason to be 'mean', considering I DID thank him!

Of course I deleted his rude message to me. Then the most bizarre thing happened...He writes yet another message and this time says that he does like my hair though. I was thinking what the?!? This guy has no clue! All I could think was how many times has he done this before? Perhaps not the exact same scenario, but going about meeting women in this kind of way.

I even had to share my little incident with a few other guys 'cause I was taken aback. I mean sometimes I get some odd messages, but this one was something else. I was hoping that he CHOSE to sabotage himself, 'cause I couldn't comprehend that he could just be THAT clueless.

Speaking of an odd first online dating message - That same day a guy asked me if he could take me to his psychology class for show and tell. When I inquired as to what he meant by that, the only answer he had was that he was trying to be different! Yes, VERY different.

I'm confused. I don't get the humor in it.

Read. Delete.

Hey guys, don't worry if you've written some stuff before like these guys did, in your first messages to women - I am here to the rescue! I am telling you OUT LOUD what women think about you on online dating, but will NOT tell you! :)

Stay tuned.

-xo Kat

Avoid THIS Mistake with Your Online Dating Messages

Hey guys,

Promise me, you'll never do this with your dating online emails! I can't tell you how annoyed I am when *this happens* and it happens all too regularly. It's such a crucial mistake - One where you lose a lot of women this way.

It's seemingly becoming all too common on dating online sites. If you're lazy online then you won't have as much, if any, luck with women, compared to if you put in the time and effort.

Promise me something...

That you won't do this with your online dating emails any longer.

It's the copy-and-paste message epidemic that's going around. It's reaching critical mass. Not only are guys using the template approach, they are becoming much more sneaky with it. Pretending to personalize it when they're really NOT. And it's obvious.

The copy-and-paste, lazy-man approach may work for you, but then when that time is right and there's that perfect '10' woman that you want to connect with....ya, let's just say, you don't want to mess that one up.

Think about how special (or not) I feel to get an email that is obviously a-one-size-fits-all message. There's me with my looong profile and I get a half-ass message. It doesn't even count as an email at all. It's frankly spam.

It gets worse. The template message is so short that there isn't even any punctuation in it! ;)~ Not only that, it's asking me ('cause clearly the guy is not!) to go for coffee.

Funny, I think, didn't it JUST say on my profile that I've NEVER had a coffee in my life, so we probably wouldn't do that for a first date!

Well, if spammy-message-man bothered to read my profile and knew at least basic English, he wouldn't be blushing this very instant. He also wouldn't have received a "direct" message from me stating what I just said here.

But it gets worse, yes, A LOT worse.

I get a message back, with complete disregard for my pointing out that my profile wasn't read, asking me something irrelevant - I Read Delete.

I then, believe it or not, had to give my same response to another guy who did the same thing!! Yes, he asked me out for coffee when I said I've never had coffee in my life on my profile! (I know what a few of you smart-ass ones are thinking - maybe he just meant a drink, a juice, a chat, a kumbaya dance, whatever - but nope. I can read between the lines, and this was easy 'cause there weren't any! And frankly, I know what's up. Hey, I created this blog for you, didn't I? ;)

This is the mistake I don't want you to make! Please save other women the frustration I went through with these online dating messages.

If you are writing her, clearly you want a response back! Well, stop losing the ladies over a lame copy-and-paste message and write a great online dating message.

Personalize it!

It shows you care. It shows respect. Heck, it makes you look like you give two-cents, even if you only give one, or none.

If anything, it's worth doing, if just so you don't look like a fool.

So....READ the profile. :)

-xo Kat