Monday, March 1

Writing Women Online - Online Dating Advice for Men

Hey guys,

Think about that first online dating message you send to a woman online, not after you've already sent it - but BEFORE you've hit that send button! ;)

I think you know that I do the online dating matchmaking site thing myself. If you didn't know this, now you do. ;) How else would I be able to help you out so well like I do...heh, heh. :) I find it fun and intriguing to connect with men online on a matchmaking site.
I always find it both exciting and interesting when I receive new messages in my inbox. It's exciting because someone took notice of me, but it's also interesting 'cause I'm wondering what it was about me (my pictures or profile or both) that encouraged the guy enough to write.

A peculiar email I received the other day was something that caught me off guard, and reminded me why I am here to help you on this blog.

You see, what first started off as a seemingly normal message turned into a dreadful interaction. Sometimes you can make a decent first impression, but can you sustain it?
So, this guy compliments me on my hair and I thought that was nice, so I sent him a quick message back just to thank him. The reason it was a quick message was because I wasn't interested in him (based on his profile and the one pic). If I had been interested, I would have asked him a question.

He then sends me a second message saying that....hmm, let's just say something he said was sexually-related to hair and being with another woman. Immediately, I was turned off. I wasn't even interested in the first place, but I am appreciative of polite compliments I get - hence, why I thanked him. Now, this message was ridiculous and uncalled for. What if I were interested before?..I surely wouldn't be now.

I was wondering if he knew just what kind of effect he was making with such a rude comment. Did he think I would see that he is desirable to women? What was it about saying that some woman he was with had better hair than me, after he had already complimented me on my hair?!

I never asked him his opinion on my hair to begin with! How do I get a compliment and then get put down? I can see that a guy maybe would do this, if I simply deleted his nice message or blatantly rejected him. But this guy had no reason to be 'mean', considering I DID thank him!

Of course I deleted his rude message to me. Then the most bizarre thing happened...He writes yet another message and this time says that he does like my hair though. I was thinking what the?!? This guy has no clue! All I could think was how many times has he done this before? Perhaps not the exact same scenario, but going about meeting women in this kind of way.

I even had to share my little incident with a few other guys 'cause I was taken aback. I mean sometimes I get some odd messages, but this one was something else. I was hoping that he CHOSE to sabotage himself, 'cause I couldn't comprehend that he could just be THAT clueless.

Speaking of an odd first online dating message - That same day a guy asked me if he could take me to his psychology class for show and tell. When I inquired as to what he meant by that, the only answer he had was that he was trying to be different! Yes, VERY different.

I'm confused. I don't get the humor in it.

Read. Delete.

Hey guys, don't worry if you've written some stuff before like these guys did, in your first messages to women - I am here to the rescue! I am telling you OUT LOUD what women think about you on online dating, but will NOT tell you! :)

Stay tuned.

-xo Kat

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