Top Internet Dating Sites - What's the Catch?

A friend forwarded an article to me that was recently published pertaining to people 'crashing' matchmaker sites. On general dating sites, it happens all the time where people tend to put their best foot forward and not really represent their true selves.

For instance, I went on dates with guys that were quite shorter than their stated height, and I even discounted my added heel height.

Women supposedly tend to not be so truthful about their weight.

However, when it comes to niche matchmaking sites where all the members are supposed to own up to the same criteria, it's becoming common that 'crashers' are joining.

For instance, an online Jewish dating site is for well, you guessed it, Jewish folks.

There are people that have signed up to that site that aren't even Jewish, yet the assumption would be that they are Jewish.

You would think a matchmaking online service for single parents would simply have members sign-up that were indeed - parents.

However, there are people that sign-up on a single parent dating website that don't even have children. Instead, they post pictures of themselves up with their nieces and nephews, for instance.

Even a site targeting affluent men and the ladies looking for that lifestyle doesn't mean that all the men on there are made of dough.

So what is the motive for people to 'pretend' to be someone they're not?

It could be that they think the criteria is not all that important to others, or they are selfish and want what works for them.

Regardless of the reason, 'faking it' can only work for so long.

I always think integrity is best. Besides, what if you set off on the 'wrong foot' and find that you are really into a woman, only to have her want nothing to do with you once she finds out the truth - which as the examples in the article show - is only a matter of time.

Let me know what you think. Is it fine to join any matchmaking site, or should you fit the specific criteria?

-xo Kat

African American Online Dating Service

There are quite a few Black singles sites, and African American dating is just one example of a niche that is covered by the online dating market.

These sites cater to people interested in Black singles, such as other sites cater to single parents, or older folk, or Canadians, or even the wealthy bunch.

Some Black singles sites are free, while others charge a minimal feel to cover the costs of the incorporated site features, such as chat rooms and instant messaging.

An important feature with the sites is attention to safety and security. Dating online sites are committing themselves to protecting your privacy, 'cause the Internet can easily be privy to your personal information.

You don't have to be Black to access dating sites for African Americans, as many accept interracial dating.

When looking to join a site, one should consider the search options, type of communication channels offered, the level of importance of security and privacy, quality profile standards, cost affordability, and quality of user-experience.

Black singles sites carefully screen members and highly encourage members to report inappropriate behavior. Often, online dating tips are provided to enhance members' dating success.

Online dating is more than just a trend. African American dating has a distinct culture that brings people closer together, even on an international scale.

There are various testimonials on how exciting and effective these Black singles sites can be, as there are many success stories. Prior to joining, it would help if you carefully go through the testimonials to see whether or not a particular website is for you. At the end of the day, it will be your preference that matters.

You can go through as many websites as possible to ensure that when you join a particular African American online dating service, you get your money’s worth and more importantly, you get to meet your future lifetime partner.

-xo Kat

Sex on the First Internet Date

So I get a second message from a guy I sort of kept my eye on, though it took him a little longer than I expected for him to get back to me. I'd say it was about a week between his first and second message to me.

I was surprised to hear from him 'cause it's not like I really had been thinking about him. I was also pleasantly surprised 'cause of yet another nice picture of himself that he sent to me. ;)

He basically states that he's 'surprised' at how many women on the site were just looking for sex! I mean he wrote it in a way that sounded like he's not at all that impressed to get 'offers'. (I'm thinking other guys would KILL to not be able to complain about this, heh, heh.)

Don't think I'm naive to think some guys wouldn't be 'playing it up'. I know better. ;) Let's just assume that it wasn't his thing. I actually find it appealing when a guy expresses his interest in wanting to meet women for more than the physical pleasures! Perhaps I'm a 'typical' woman. ;)

Naturally I was curious by what he meant and told him that I was also surprised that a lot of women seemed to be looking for no strings action on the site. I mean he's an attractive guy. He doesn't post his pictures up, instead gives them privately.

Anyways we messaged back and forth and he said how he recently 'caved in' to a woman that was a master at the art of seduction. Curious me asked for details and oh boy, did I ever get them!

Let's just say that a first date dinner with someone he met online led to him going back to her place and getting attacked. I use the word 'attacked' 'cause he wasn't sounding like a willing recipient, rather someone that was giving in to a woman wanting and initiating sex!

Anyways, our banter was kind of fun, but it got me thinking.

How many of the guys that I went on dates with were just as 'attacked'? Is online dating and first date sex more common than I thought? Is it more women than men expecting - initiating - attacking - seeking out sex with someone they JUST met through online dating?!

Then it's almost like a call for some statistics went out to the Gods 'cause what do I find...

A survey regarding some online dating survey stats and boy was I sort of taken aback.

You see, I didn't think that online dating and first date sex was any more prevalent than first date sex where two people met the traditional way.

I was shocked to find out that 1 in 3 women who meet men online have SEX on the FIRST encounter!

It just seemed so high. Can the same be said that 1 out of 3 women who meet men OFFline have a one-night stand? Or is it something about the world of the Internet that is causing people to be more promiscuous?

My assumption would be that women would be more likely to have sex on the first encounter with a guy they met in the bar or at a party or something like that - rather than with a guy they met online out for coffee or dinner.

Usually when a woman meets a guy out when she's partying, she's having some drinks to help her relax, her friends are helping her feel confident, she's getting to know the guy, there's body language and all that good jazz that helps her feel the guy out.

But before an online dating first date there was what?? Emails, Messages, Maybe the phone. And unless the first date had drinks involved or she was just naturally comfortable - the connection would be much slower than that which you would create at a party.

Or would it?

These survey results surprised me. Not only is sex happening frequently using online dating, but it sounds like many women are into having sex with a man they just met - online.

4 out of 5 women do NOT use protection surveys reveal!

And if this is the case, which I'm hoping this survey where I'm getting this data from is some kind of hoax, it tells you just how far someone is willing to go with a 'stranger'. And stupidly at that to risk their own health (guys too!).

Then I got wondering if every 3rd guy I date has had online dating first date sex. I've never been good at math. But if it takes that THIRD girl to get sex on the first encounter then isn't that saying it takes every THIRD guy as well?!

And if 4 out of 5 encounters were between people possibly spreading around STD's, doesn't that mean that 80% of the guys I date from online perhaps have an STD?!

Somebody please enlighten me...

-xo Kat

Online Dating Meeting?

I find it kind of amusing when guys call a first date from online dating a "meeting".

It sounds more business when it's called a "meeting". Like calling it a date would mean you're that much closer to the alter. Essentially, a date simply means getting to know someone new! As long as you think of it that way, no pressure!

Perhaps calling the first date a "meeting" eases any pressure, or takes off some expectations. The funny thing is it's mainly guys that call it that. Ha. Women prefer dates. I know I do.

Regardless if you call it a date or a meeting, you do want to get a sense of what the woman is "looking for" before you meet her in person.

You should both be clear about your intentions before you meet up, so that way you avoid any disappointment around expectations on your meeting..I mean date.

Relax and have fun!

-xo Kat

Online Dating Tips for Men

Online dating is definitely not as stigmatic as it once was.

Not only that, there are TONS of women looking for men online, and the beautiful women also. If you haven't started dating online yet, now's the time to start. Lots of fish in the sea...

Spring is here, people want to get the spring cleaning done. They want a change - out with the old and in with the new. If you are new to online dating, there is a lot to know. You often won't get that second chance to make that all important first impression, so be as prepared as you can and learn how to attract women online - use it to your advantage.

If you have been online dating already and feel as though you are going in circles, and need better and more results with women - don't give up! Refresh your energy, gain your positive spirits back, and don't feel like a fool all because you think you could use some online dating tips for men. So what if you are seeking advice, the women don't have to know!

There are a ton of matchmaking sites out there, but you will want to go where the women go. The more women that are signed-up on the site you are on, the more choices you will have. The more choices you have, the better the chance you have of finding your match, regardless of what you are looking for.

It is important that your profile stands out to women. Don't take this for granted. What you have in there says A LOT about you - put some time and effort into this. Also, if you have an appealing profile and great pictures - you will stand out from your competition. Not to mention, women will be the ones to message YOU first which is always cool.

Besides your profile and pictures, your online dating first message to a woman can either make it or break it with her. It will either make her ignore you or write you back. The more women you have replying to your messages, the more conversations you can have going. Conversations lead into opportunities to meet women in person - which is what you're aiming for, right?! Honestly, pay attention to WHAT you are saying and HOW you are saying it in your profile and emails.

Remember, women want to feel special. They don't want to feel like just another number. Obviously, they know you're likely trying to chat up women left, right and center. They just don't want to know that. The key is to make the woman you are trying to attract feel as if she stands out. Sure this takes up more of your time and effort. But it leads to greater success to get what you want from the woman you are really interested in.

The more prepared you are in the online dating arena, the better your results with women will be. Attract women online effectively which will practically guarantee that more women will notice you and be interested in you. The rest, as they say, is history.

Looking for women online is easy, once you know what you are doing right.

-xo Kat

Online Dating First Date Advice

So there I am out with a girlfriend downtown the other night when this guy walks up to us. My online dating first meeting with this particular fellow goes like this...

I recognized him right away, as I'm pretty good with faces. The thing is I'm not quick to process how I know him or where I know him from.

Of course my thoughts are processing that information all in a nanosecond, at the same time he says hi. He has a questioning and inquisitive look on him, and as soon as he said my name - I knew who he was.

He remembered my online name and called me by that. I don't like to give out my real name too much.

I laughed embarrassingly (not so much 'cause I was online dating, but that he saw me in the 'real world' accidentally!). He caught me off guard, of course.

I then said, "Oh ya, You're _____". My mind went blank! Ha ha. I did recognize him from the online dating site we're both from, but of course I couldn't remember his name.

Not a second later, he walked off 'cause he was interrupted.

A week earlier, he had messaged me a couple of times. I responded 'cause he sends the sweetest messages. I'm not sure if he recognized me from the site from a couple of years back when I was online at that time - but he was sweet then too.

He's just not my type. I wish him every success with finding someone suitable, since he's so nice. I do like nice guys!

My friend and I ended up walking by him again, randomly. I could tell he was trying to get my attention, and he had his cell in his hand sort of motioning with it. I just acted like I didn't see him. I didn't want to give him the impression I was interested when I wasn't.

He ended up messaging me again on the site. He was still as sweet as ever, luckily. It means he didn't take me for some snob, which wasn't my intention at all!

I was surprised he recognized me in person. I thought it was cool though. If I were interested in him, wouldn't that have been great to have run into him. Heck, I probably would have even invited him to join me and my girlfriend! Why not? Spontaneity can be fun.

It just goes to show an online dating first meeting can be either random or planned. And it can work in your favor..sometimes. Just think if we were meant to be..we would have connected offline by chance.

My advice to you is if you see someone you recognize, whether from online or the real world, say HELLO. You never know where it might lead, or at least let you know you need to focus on someone else now.

:)

-xo Kat 

Dating Online Profile Tip - Get Women to Notice Your Profile

Don't take for granted the importance of spending some time crafting something interesting for your dating online profile.

Your profile is more important than you might think to help you stand out to the ladies.Don't underestimate the value in creating a great profile, regardless of who messages who first.

Take a look at other men's profiles to get a feel for different styles. I have done this by looking at different women's profiles. I like to write my own profile first before comparing it to others', so that way it's as authentic as possible.

Get a feel for what you like and don't like when you view other guys' profiles. Chances are many women will feel the same way as you do.

Your online dating profile is like your billboard into who you are and whether someone should stop by to take another look. The more people that stop by, the better chances you have toward finding a great match.

Dating online profiles that work best combine content, personality, confidence and a sense of humor.

Go get 'em!

-xo Kat

Get Women Online with This Secret Tip

Do you feel frustrated when you send off messages to women and they don't get back to you? Do you feel even worse when they delete your first message?

You will want to avoid the types of online dating messages that will not work for the ladies, and will make you more frustrated to boot.

It can be tough on the ego when all you feel is rejection after rejection of your messages. You assume that she isn't attracted to you, or you're just not her type in some way.

But does it occur to you that it is the WAY you approached her to begin with that ultimately turned her off?

Yes, you could be attractive, charming, have a great write-up, many interests...and still wonder why you aren't drawing the women in.

Either you think that it is HER problem that she's not replying back to your message, or you clued in that perhaps it is your message to her that isn't coming across so well.

Maybe you know that your approach isn't quite working, but you're not quite sure what to do about it. Especially, when you sometimes get responses.

But how does it feel to come across a woman that you are REALLY interested in and you lose out again? Perhaps it's time to figure out what it is that isn't working so effectively to get women to reply back.

You just know that they would take a liking to you, if the women would just give you a CHANCE. Ah-hah, my friend, you have to EARN this. ;)

Simply the act of sending her a message is NOT good enough. It may be for YOU when a woman sends you a first message. You may not care so much what is in the message, but the fact that she wrote you FIRST is what matters. 

Women work differently (surprise, surprise ;). A woman won't give you WHAT you want, until you give her what it is she NEEDS. She wants to feel that you NOTICED her DIFFERENTLY than you did any other woman online.

SO how do you do this? You pay attention to her whole profile and then you write something you haven't written to the other ladies. This means not being dull and generic. What this means is being creative and witty. Personalizing your approach will do a lot to improve your online dating success. Try it.

-xo Kat

Writing Women Online - Online Dating Advice for Men

Hey guys,

Think about that first online dating message you send to a woman online, not after you've already sent it - but BEFORE you've hit that send button! ;)

I think you know that I do the online dating matchmaking site thing myself. If you didn't know this, now you do. ;) How else would I be able to help you out so well like I do...heh, heh. :) I find it fun and intriguing to connect with men online on a matchmaking site.

 

I always find it both exciting and interesting when I receive new messages in my inbox. It's exciting because someone took notice of me, but it's also interesting 'cause I'm wondering what it was about me (my pictures or profile or both) that encouraged the guy enough to write.

A peculiar email I received the other day was something that caught me off guard, and reminded me why I am here to help you on this blog.

You see, what first started off as a seemingly normal message turned into a dreadful interaction. Sometimes you can make a decent first impression, but can you sustain it?

So, this guy compliments me on my hair and I thought that was nice, so I sent him a quick message back just to thank him. The reason it was a quick message was because I wasn't interested in him (based on his profile and the one pic). If I had been interested, I would have asked him a question.

He then sends me a second message saying that....hmm, let's just say something he said was sexually-related to hair and being with another woman. Immediately, I was turned off. I wasn't even interested in the first place, but I am appreciative of polite compliments I get - hence, why I thanked him. Now, this message was ridiculous and uncalled for. What if I were interested before?..I surely wouldn't be now.

I was wondering if he knew just what kind of effect he was making with such a rude comment. Did he think I would see that he is desirable to women? What was it about saying that some woman he was with had better hair than me, after he had already complimented me on my hair?!

I never asked him his opinion on my hair to begin with! How do I get a compliment and then get put down? I can see that a guy maybe would do this, if I simply deleted his nice message or blatantly rejected him. But this guy had no reason to be 'mean', considering I DID thank him!

Of course I deleted his rude message to me. Then the most bizarre thing happened...He writes yet another message and this time says that he does like my hair though. I was thinking what the?!? This guy has no clue! All I could think was how many times has he done this before? Perhaps not the exact same scenario, but going about meeting women in this kind of way.

I even had to share my little incident with a few other guys 'cause I was taken aback. I mean sometimes I get some odd messages, but this one was something else. I was hoping that he CHOSE to sabotage himself, 'cause I couldn't comprehend that he could just be THAT clueless.

Speaking of an odd first online dating message - That same day a guy asked me if he could take me to his psychology class for show and tell. When I inquired as to what he meant by that, the only answer he had was that he was trying to be different! Yes, VERY different.

I'm confused. I don't get the humor in it.

Read. Delete.

Hey guys, don't worry if you've written some stuff before like these guys did, in your first messages to women - I am here to the rescue! I am telling you OUT LOUD what women think about you on online dating, but will NOT tell you! :)

Stay tuned.

-xo Kat

Avoid THIS Mistake with Your Online Dating Messages

Hey guys,

Promise me, you'll never do this with your dating online emails! I can't tell you how annoyed I am when *this happens* and it happens all too regularly. It's such a crucial mistake - One where you lose a lot of women this way.

It's seemingly becoming all too common on dating online sites. If you're lazy online then you won't have as much, if any, luck with women, compared to if you put in the time and effort.

Promise me something...

That you won't do this with your online dating emails any longer.

It's the copy-and-paste message epidemic that's going around. It's reaching critical mass. Not only are guys using the template approach, they are becoming much more sneaky with it. Pretending to personalize it when they're really NOT. And it's obvious.

The copy-and-paste, lazy-man approach may work for you, but then when that time is right and there's that perfect '10' woman that you want to connect with....ya, let's just say, you don't want to mess that one up.

Think about how special (or not) I feel to get an email that is obviously a-one-size-fits-all message. There's me with my looong profile and I get a half-ass message. It doesn't even count as an email at all. It's frankly spam.

It gets worse. The template message is so short that there isn't even any punctuation in it! ;)~ Not only that, it's asking me ('cause clearly the guy is not!) to go for coffee.

Funny, I think, didn't it JUST say on my profile that I've NEVER had a coffee in my life, so we probably wouldn't do that for a first date!

Well, if spammy-message-man bothered to read my profile and knew at least basic English, he wouldn't be blushing this very instant. He also wouldn't have received a "direct" message from me stating what I just said here.

But it gets worse, yes, A LOT worse.

I get a message back, with complete disregard for my pointing out that my profile wasn't read, asking me something irrelevant - I Read Delete.

I then, believe it or not, had to give my same response to another guy who did the same thing!! Yes, he asked me out for coffee when I said I've never had coffee in my life on my profile! (I know what a few of you smart-ass ones are thinking - maybe he just meant a drink, a juice, a chat, a kumbaya dance, whatever - but nope. I can read between the lines, and this was easy 'cause there weren't any! And frankly, I know what's up. Hey, I created this blog for you, didn't I? ;)

This is the mistake I don't want you to make! Please save other women the frustration I went through with these online dating messages.

If you are writing her, clearly you want a response back! Well, stop losing the ladies over a lame copy-and-paste message and write a great online dating message.

Personalize it!

It shows you care. It shows respect. Heck, it makes you look like you give two-cents, even if you only give one, or none.

If anything, it's worth doing, if just so you don't look like a fool.

So....READ the profile. :)

-xo Kat